Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Personal Trainers

My new topic of perplexion is personal trainers. I took some of my poker winnings and joined the new 24hr Fitness on the way to work. OK, it is only $40 per month, so I really didn't have to use my poker winnings.

I notice that they have a package that costs $250 for 5 one hour sessions with a personal trainer. I think this might be money well spent as I would like to learn some new routines, exercises, etc. The membership guy calls over a personal trainer to give me the speech.

PT: "What are you looking to do?"
KW: "I would like to learn some new exercises and routines to make my workouts a little more interesting."
PT: "We have some great programs to bulk up your muscles and get you lean! We can put you on a diet plan that will maximize your results!"

Anything anybody in the workout industry says seems to be followed by a !.

KW: "Ummm, I don't really want you to put me on a diet plan. I just want to learn some new exercises."
PT: "You can't build all of that muscle without a proper diet!"
KW: "Ummmm, I don't really want to build any muscle."

I cannot describe the look of shock and horror on the man's face. I then realized that his whole existence was based on the fact that people like me wanted to look like him. Shockingly, I have no desire to put on another ounce of muscle. All I want to do is feel healthier and drop fat. He really seemed to have nowhere to go in the sales pitch after this. Apparently, I am not allowed to just want to learn some new exercises and routines.


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