Personal Trainers
My new topic of perplexion is personal trainers. I took some of my poker winnings and joined the new 24hr Fitness on the way to work. OK, it is only $40 per month, so I really didn't have to use my poker winnings.
I notice that they have a package that costs $250 for 5 one hour sessions with a personal trainer. I think this might be money well spent as I would like to learn some new routines, exercises, etc. The membership guy calls over a personal trainer to give me the speech.
PT: "What are you looking to do?"
KW: "I would like to learn some new exercises and routines to make my workouts a little more interesting."
PT: "We have some great programs to bulk up your muscles and get you lean! We can put you on a diet plan that will maximize your results!"
Anything anybody in the workout industry says seems to be followed by a !.
KW: "Ummm, I don't really want you to put me on a diet plan. I just want to learn some new exercises."
PT: "You can't build all of that muscle without a proper diet!"
KW: "Ummmm, I don't really want to build any muscle."
I cannot describe the look of shock and horror on the man's face. I then realized that his whole existence was based on the fact that people like me wanted to look like him. Shockingly, I have no desire to put on another ounce of muscle. All I want to do is feel healthier and drop fat. He really seemed to have nowhere to go in the sales pitch after this. Apparently, I am not allowed to just want to learn some new exercises and routines.
Dixie Chicks
Anybody catch 60 minutes last night with The Dixie Chicks? They committed career suicide three years ago by saying that they were ashamed that President Bush was also from Texas. They seem to want to completely make sure the career was dead last night with a few more stab wounds. I think modern country music sucks, but the Dixie Chicks suck less than the rest. Kind of like how Kanye West doesn't suck as much as modern rap music.
Basically, their new song is not being played on mainstreeam country music stations because a few hundred people called in to complain about them speaking freely in a country with free speech. Shockingly, their new single is the #1 download on iTunes. It is fantastic to live in a country where the lowest common demoninator of stupidtude now rules. One of the Dixie Chicks then says, "I can't listen to country radio anymore. They have given it back to the rednecks who play red, white, and blue guitars." They might as well get caught whacking off in a pr0n theatre like PeeWee Herman.
Shit like this just leaves me shaking my head wondering why radio and network TV is dying. Gee, you can't figure it out? 2 songs followed by 5 minutes of jewelry store commercials followed by the same two songs? The same reality show followed by the same sitcom followed by 15 minutes of commercials? It almost makes me want to go see Mission Impossible 3. OK, I am making that up. There is nothing on this planet that would make me go see Mission Impossible 3.
I wonder if this conversations is happening between white trash trailer living mothers and daughters all across the South?
Little Girl: "Mom, can I please have the new Dixie Chicks CD?"
White Trash Mom: "No!"
Little Girl: "But, mom! I really like their music. They write songs, play lots of instruments, seem like good mothers, and can speak like intelligent human beings. Shouldn't I be interested in celebrities like this?"
White Trash Mom: "No, we can't have people like that on the radio. Now pass me that US Weekly so that I can keep up on whether Denise Richards is banging Richie Sambora or Charlie Sheen or some new friend's husband."
