Saturday, July 22, 2006

Today's Most Annoying People

People who still use read receipts on e-mails. I'm just saying.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 11:04 a.m. 0 comments

Al Gore and an Unfortunate Truth

Al Gore makes a movie telling us that we need to do something about global warming. Was he not vice president for 8 friggin' years? Could he have not fit this into his schedule then?

posted by Kent Stalker @ 11:03 a.m. 0 comments

Stealing my Jokes

I seem to have a case of the Mondays.

Bill Simmons (the ESPN Sports Guy) was on Adam Coralla this morning. Sadly, they have stolen some of my material. They were doing a classic movie review of Con Air and Adam says, "Why is it that in all bad action movies, somebody has to say the name of the movie at some point?" I can no longer use my routine on telling how bad a Seagal movie is by how early in the movie he says the title.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 11:02 a.m. 0 comments

Color Me Badd

I often lay awake at night wondering what ever became of Color Me Badd.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 11:00 a.m. 0 comments

WNBA

Any good WNBA games this weekend? Did anybody else watch the highlights on Sportcentre/Sportscenter of the WNBA all-star game where everybody just started standing around while one of them tried to dunk? Comedy.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 10:58 a.m. 0 comments

Coaching

I have quit my position as head coach of the Togo soccer team to be GM of the New York Islanders.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 10:56 a.m. 0 comments

King of Cars on A&E

Capitalism at its finest. Dude sells crazy amount of cars with sweet cheesy informercials. God Bless America.

The interesting thing about this show is how bad the average person's credit is. Everybody who walks in the place is credit "challenged" but still wants to buy an Escalade. Even worse is that they don't mind being on national television showing off their lousy credit.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 10:54 a.m. 0 comments

1 Year Anniversary!

It is my one year anniversary here! I will be wearing my company pin proudly for the next year. It also means that I don't have to pay back my relocation expenses if I left.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 10:53 a.m. 0 comments

Who I want at my poker table

The totally non-filtered list of people I want at my poker table:

1) Men over 50 who are wearing shirts that were obviously ironed by their wives.
2) Young asian males.
3) Men in their 30s with mullets or biker looking.
4) Middle age white women.

The totally non-filtered list of people I do not want at my poker table:

1) Late 20's Indian guys who work at Microsoft.
2) Older Asian women.
3) Old white men who never talk.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 10:51 a.m. 0 comments

Seattle

Here is my situation. My job is not that thrilling. But it is 9-5:30 and not very stressful. The company has tons of bonuses, parties, and shit like that. I had my quarterly review yesterday and I scored "well above expectations" despite being my usual self. My boss noted my sometimes lack of enthousiasm. This did not shock me. I get this EVERY review.

The difficulty is that I am so bored that I may go on a shooting rampage anyday now. Seattle is the city that fun forgot. My co-worker's wife asked me if I liked Seattle and I gave a vague answer. She said, "Ya, it sucks here." Going to Vegas three times in 3 months may be a sign.

Option #1 is to be lazy and just stay here until I get my green card in a year. I have no idea what to do after that, besides look for jobs in South Florida, Vegas, or California.

Option #2 is to try to move back to Toronto. This is likely almost impossible as every GreenElbow employee is looking for the same job and the Sregor messaging people hate me.

Option #3. I have not thought of it yet.

Frig, where is spell check? Enthousiastic is spelled poorly.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 10:48 a.m. 0 comments

Thursday, July 06, 2006

My Time at the WSOP

1) Dan Alspach and JJ Liu dress the same each day. How do you approach this topic when you start a new relationship? "We have been together for two months now and I think it is time we start dressing the same." How do you start this conversation.

This is almost as irritating as parents who dress identical twins the same. Somebody has to make this a felony. If online poker can be a felony, why can't this be?

2) People who wear bluetooth headsets in a giant casino where talking on your cellphone is banned.

3) This Persian guy gave a "this game is soooo cruel, oh my God!" routine before going all in for $50 more into a $400 pot. He had aces full of queens. For 5 hands in a row after that, I said, "This game is sooo cruel." before folding. It was comedy.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 11:05 a.m. 0 comments

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

WSOP

The funniest thing I saw at the WSOP were kids (outside of the main room) asking "stars" for their autographs. First of all, autographs are dumb. Second of all, Mike Matusow is a broke, asshole, convicted felon who gambles for a living. Perhaps the parents of these children should be watching them a little more closely.

posted by Kent Stalker @ 11:06 a.m. 0 comments